Pain and Preperation
by Dedikated
Summary: When Alice gets off the phone with Jasper, would he have told Carlisle right away what their plan was? I beleive he would have. This portrays the anxiety of Jasper Hale when he had to tell Carlisle that his first 'born son' might never come home.


**AN: This is from Jasper's POV and it is after Alice and he were on the phone, and I'm assuming that Alice told him to prepare Carlisle for the fact that Edward in trying to get himself killed.**

**Also, in someone's review, they asked if there should be more chapters. I never thought about that until now, so I am asking you to review and tell me if I should write multiple chapters from Jasper's view and continue until a certain point in New Moon. Also if you could tell me where you think would be a good spot to stop, but only if you can think of one.**

**Disclaimer: All settings and characters are property of Stephenie Meyer and her publisher. No copyright infringement is intended.**

At this point, pain would be inevitable. So much had already hit everyone, and now more was on its cruel way.

Worry for Edward and Bella was already emitting from the small room where Carlisle was sitting at the desk inside. The room smelled potently of pine, but such a thing couldn't be helped since almost all of the furniture in the house had been made from pine.

I gently knocked on the door and it made a hollow sound—the sound of an empty heart.

Edward had been unbearable to live with for the short time he'd stayed before deciding to track Victoria. Already, he'd only drunk a week before he left, and the two weeks he had stayed he hadn't drunken at all. His movements had been harsh and his voice was weak and raspy from misuse. He had hardly talked and he only talked when he emerged out of the small area in the back of the house, which was an even rarer occasion.

Edward had literally taken on the role of the vampires in today's media—harsh, even paler then we were, dark, and even so far as to say that he was almost afraid to talk to us. It seemed that even the slightest thing that would remind him of Bella would send he even farther over the edge at shatter what little of his existence he had had left.

And now he was going to kill himself.

I'd been given the cruel but inevitable job of preparing Carlisle for the fact that his first son might not ever come back.

"Come in," Carlisle called from the other side.

I pushed open the door and slowly started to send gentle high spirited emotions into the room. I hadn't known Carlisle to ever loose it before, but there is always a first time for everything.

"Carlisle, uh, I've got something to tell you." I rubbed the back of my neck and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. I was acutely aware that the situation was slightly ironic. I was standing here, just like a teenage boy having to admit something to his father that he knows he shouldn't have done.

i I wouldn't even have had to do this if I didn't love Alice so much that I could never break a promise I made to her /i .

I would have shot myself then and there if I hadn't known it wouldn't have done any good. How could I regret loving Alice?

"Yes?" Carlisle said expectantly and lifted his head up from the paper he had been reading and focused on me. Again, the irony hit me.

"Carlisle, I'm not sure how to say this," I sent the waves a little stronger, "but Edward is in a bit of a situation."

"I see. Edward has a knack for getting himself into situations. Have you only this to tell me. I don't need your ability to see that you are extremely distraught about having to tell me something." Once again, Carlisle hit a nerve inside me that sent chills down my spine at how much like a father he was.

"No, there is much more that needs telling, but I am not the person to tell you." I couldn't delay this any further. I had to tell him and there was no delicate way to say it. I wanted to say this gently but,

"Edward is going to throw himself into the Volturi's hands and make them kill him!" I growled. I hadn't expected myself to growl but I guess now it makes for sense. I was angry at and yet extremely worried for both Edward and Alice. Not to mention the extremely delicate creature that was Bella. I was angry at Edward for doing such a stupid thing, and worried that he might never come back. I was angry at Alice for doing such a ridiculous thing like trying to get Edward back from the Volturi, and yet at the same time, worried that I may have to carry out the rest of my existence without…

"Jasper, stop it!" I actually startled myself. I'd yelled out loud for myself to stop thinking about how Alice might never...

I gripped the sides of my head and squeezed my eyes shut. I had to stop this.

"Jasper, when did you find out about this?" I had all but forgotten about Carlisle for those brief moments and his voice had a slight calming effect.

"Alice told me last night, when Emmett and Rosalie were hunting, and Esme was helping Irina do something or other." I could see slight wrinkles form on his face as he thought.

"Is there anything else? Where is Alice right now?" The one thing I hoped he wouldn't ask.

"On a plane."

"To where?" His voice was a little more worried by now.

"Italy," I mumbled. My eyes widened and I stepped back by some hidden human instinct when a loud growl erupted from Carlisle. I had never in the fifty-six years that I'd spent with this family had I ever heard Carlisle growl.

"Alice is going to Italy? I thought she was going back to visit Bella?"

"She was. Well, she did. Bella's on the plane also." I heard Carlisle growl again, but not as loud this time. He set his head in his pale hand and rested his elbow on the desk.

"Anything else?" His voice was sad and full of emotion—worry, sadness, and even anger.

"No."

"So, Edward is attempting to commit suicide? And Alice has taken Bella to try and stop him?" He was obviously trying to confirm facts.

"Yes. Alice thinks that it is the only way to get Edward to reconsider his decision and I support her on that matter." I hadn't exactly thought about objecting to Alice's decision after she hung up. I was extremely worried and distraught over her going to the Volturi, but now that there was no going back, I'd move mountains to make sure she succeeded.

Carlisle continued to stare at the desk with his head in his hands and seemed to be in shock almost. I stood there, waiting for him to say something. I tried to block the worry and anger out of my mind, but like most times with such extreme emotion, it was all but impossible.

"I'll go now…" I awkwardly shifted toward the door and Carlisle still stayed in the same position. I closed the door and sighed heavily. Who knew talking to him would have been so difficult?

The couch in the living room was practically calling my name, and I relented to sit down. I felt like I was just sitting here while everyone else was doing something to help. I felt like I was letting Alice down. I placed my elbows on my knees and placed my hands on either side of my head and covered my ears, trying to block out the noise coming from the other room. Esme and Irina were talking at what seemed like top volume.

Before long, foot steps entered the room and a concerned aura hit me and I knew almost instantly Esme had some in the room.

"Jasper, what is the matter?" As if she hadn't heard me and Carlisle. There were no keeping secrets in such a small house with our exceptional hearing.

"Nothing," I mumbled and continued to hold both sides of my head.

"Jasper, this is about Alice, isn't it? About her going to the Volturi?" Esme's voice was soothing and warm, like melting chocolate. Not that we ever ate any. It tasted vile and bitter in our mouths.

"How could she do that?! Putting herself in so much danger and it isn't like she is going up against wimpy humans! She's putting herself up against the Volturi! She's practically challenging our entire existence!" If I could have cried, I knew I would have been balling my then. The love of my life—or rather existence—was nearly going to get herself killed.

"Shhhh, hush now. It'll all work out in the end," she soothed and pulled my head shoulder and caressed the back of my head. I hardly got so upset. Because of the influence I had on others, it was a rare occasion that I would get so worked up.

"But it's Alice! She's too innocent, too beautiful, and she has too much with us to go and do this! And I let her. I could have stopped her. I could've!" I yelled and took my fist and punched the coffee table in front of us. The shattered into hundreds of splinters of wood and sent the fresh smell of pine erupting into my nostrils.

"God damn it!" I couldn't control this anymore. Esme, despite how hard she was trying, was coming under the influence of my anger and she herself was starting to get upset.

"I'm going out," I slurred and made my way to the door and slammed it behind me before running top speed into the woods surrounding the house to find something—anything—to occupy myself.


End file.
